Wuv... Twue wuv

BIG FAT DISCLAIMER: I have been to some weddings recently. They were rad. This has nothing to do with that. I think about weird crap. I'm not talking about you.

Everybody wants to be a special little snowflake. Everybody wants to think that their kids are special little snowflakes. That funny thing you said earlier today? TOTALLY ORIGINAL HILARITY BRO. Your own unique way of putting together thrift store outfits? That's definitely not a thing that apparently 99% of people under 25 are now doing.

The thing is though, I don't really have a problem with special little snowflake syndrome.  In most cases I think it's totally harmless. Occasionally it rises to the level of 'kinda annoying'.

But when it comes to relationships, I think it's a problem. And relationships, man... EVERYBODY thinks their relationship is a special little snowflake. Or at least it seems that way from weddings.

I like weddings. I like getting dressed up to get drunk. I like seeing people talk about their relationship in honest terms in front of their friends and family. I think that, if getting people to enter into lifelong romantic partnerships is the goal (and it seems to be, although I'm not sure it should be... but that's a seperate huge thing to dissect), then having them promise to love/honor/cherish/only rub dirty bits with someone in front of an audience is a pretty good idea.

But here's the problem: that's hardly ever what we actually do. It seems like we start with that idea, and then everybody gets a wicked case of special little snowflake syndrome. The couple when they write their vows, the officiant, and especially the parents, if they are involved - who in the goddamn hell are they always blathering on about? Some character in a disney movie? This is what their description of the relationship always sounds like:

I knew from the moment I saw (person) and (other person) together that they had something special. The way they looked at each other and rainbows shot out of their eyes and then they rode off on unicorns, holding hands and little cartoon fucking hearts shot out of their asses. I just know they are going to be together forever and ever, even after the end of the world and when they die and get their own planets. I have never seen a love like this before and I'm sure they will never fight about who does the dishes or wonder if they could have been happy with someone else because they are special little snowflakes and this is all just so UNIQUE and AMAZING that I am CRYING BLOOD NOW OH MY DEAR GOD SWEET JEEESUS!!!

OK maybe I exaggerated that a little bit but you've all heard about the amazing unique qualities of someone's relationship at some point. Look. Relationships are a thing that 99.9% of people are doing or trying to do pretty much their whole lives. It's big news lately that only half of americans are CURRENTLY married, and the median age at first marriage has climbed to 26/29 years (women/men).

Dude. Seriously. HOW UNIQUE CAN YOU BE AT SOMETHING 50% OF THE POPULATION IS DOING RIGHT THIS SECOND. THAT WORD - I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.

There is, apparently, some sort of problem in this country right now with people getting divorced. Personally? Meh. Non-problem. But people are concerned about it.

You know what I think? Of course not, or you wouldn't be reading this. Maybe - just maybe - if we stopped telling people that they have the most amazing, mind-bending, pure heaven-sent love that will outshine the eventual earth-consuming supernova, they wouldn't be disappointed when it turns out that making a relationship work is a pain in the ass sometimes.

I for one would like to go to a wedding where people talk about the couple in  reasonable terms. You know what? I have friends whose spouses I didn't care for when I first met them. Hell, I have friends whose spouses I could still take or leave. That's fine - I'm not married to them. But why can't we drop the happy horseshit that sounds like the trailer for the next kids cartoon about princesses or some shit, and talk about our relationships in a realistic and practical goddamn way? Would that be so terrible that grandma would cut us out of the will?


Wuv... Twue wuv

What is the haps?

It has been a long time since I've posted anything here. I had really meant to write something - anything - at least once a week but obviously I fell off that wagon or horse or whatever antiquated mode of transportation you'd like in your metaphor.

So to catch up with me, for those who haven't heard (and who am I kidding, there are what, 3 people gonna read this and they've probably all heard me whine already): one of my old housemates in Los Osos turned out to be a passive-aggressive hippie, and asked me to move out. No prior problems that she told me about, and when I asked her why?
"I don't know, I just feel like the vibe of the house is different from what it was before you moved in."

Yeah.

So I found a place in SLO and got some help from some awesome people with the actual physical move (thanks awesome people who aren't reading this!)  I'm now paying just a bit more but living walking distance to downtown and an easy bike ride to school so it's totally worth it.

School is out for the summer, I've been furiously... well, maybe less than furiously... doing nerdy crap on a computer that no-one cares about or likely would understand. I'll probably get into details later anyway, in another brain-dump post.  I had the idea that I would be all disciplined and get up early every weekday, go down to campus, put in 8-10 hours, and then come home and relax for a bit before retiring early so I could do it all again. The reality has involved more skipping out to take care of errandy things, leaving early to go drink beers with hot girls who turn out to be crazy, and sleeping through my alarm and not showing up to 'work' until noon. I gots to get better about all of that.

And I will. But probably just in time for fall quarter, when I will be grading for 3 classes and filling in for some lectures when the professor can't make it, which he thinks will be only a couple weeks, but I'm betting runs closer to half the time. We had a professor quit - just about half-baked style - and it seems like it's going to be a scramble. I volunteered to teach one of his classes, forest harvesting, which I am qualified to teach. Likely more qualified than any of the profs in my department, actually. Anyway, I think I'll get it, but it's not offered until winter quarter, so in order to 'prove myself' or something, I have to grade/babysit these other classes Fall quarter. And, I'm taking three classes plus a special problems class (so that I can get credit for one of my classes which is only 300-level) so... I'll be busy.

Also there is a ton of fun stuff I want to do this summer, and not just because it's fun - I'm trying hard not to lose touch with any of my friends, because I don't have friends who are only kinda awesome, only the full-awesome type, and that kind is worth some effort to hold on to. So I've been up to the bay area, out to buttonwillow, and I'll be up to tahoe and the russian river and hella nor-cal later on.

So, yeah, that's a hastily-written, poorly organized dump about what's going on with me. Which, I'm feeling, will be followed up shortly by a seperate ranty post about marriage. Because it's only 10pm, and I'm not tired yet.