Everybody wants to be a special little snowflake. Everybody wants to think that their kids are special little snowflakes. That funny thing you said earlier today? TOTALLY ORIGINAL HILARITY BRO. Your own unique way of putting together thrift store outfits? That's definitely not a thing that apparently 99% of people under 25 are now doing.
The thing is though, I don't really have a problem with special little snowflake syndrome. In most cases I think it's totally harmless. Occasionally it rises to the level of 'kinda annoying'.
But when it comes to relationships, I think it's a problem. And relationships, man... EVERYBODY thinks their relationship is a special little snowflake. Or at least it seems that way from weddings.
I like weddings. I like getting dressed up to get drunk. I like seeing people talk about their relationship in honest terms in front of their friends and family. I think that, if getting people to enter into lifelong romantic partnerships is the goal (and it seems to be, although I'm not sure it should be... but that's a seperate huge thing to dissect), then having them promise to love/honor/cherish/only rub dirty bits with someone in front of an audience is a pretty good idea.
But here's the problem: that's hardly ever what we actually do. It seems like we start with that idea, and then everybody gets a wicked case of special little snowflake syndrome. The couple when they write their vows, the officiant, and especially the parents, if they are involved - who in the goddamn hell are they always blathering on about? Some character in a disney movie? This is what their description of the relationship always sounds like:
I knew from the moment I saw (person) and (other person) together that they had something special. The way they looked at each other and rainbows shot out of their eyes and then they rode off on unicorns, holding hands and little cartoon fucking hearts shot out of their asses. I just know they are going to be together forever and ever, even after the end of the world and when they die and get their own planets. I have never seen a love like this before and I'm sure they will never fight about who does the dishes or wonder if they could have been happy with someone else because they are special little snowflakes and this is all just so UNIQUE and AMAZING that I am CRYING BLOOD NOW OH MY DEAR GOD SWEET JEEESUS!!!OK maybe I exaggerated that a little bit but you've all heard about the amazing unique qualities of someone's relationship at some point. Look. Relationships are a thing that 99.9% of people are doing or trying to do pretty much their whole lives. It's big news lately that only half of americans are CURRENTLY married, and the median age at first marriage has climbed to 26/29 years (women/men).
Dude. Seriously. HOW UNIQUE CAN YOU BE AT SOMETHING 50% OF THE POPULATION IS DOING RIGHT THIS SECOND. THAT WORD - I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.
There is, apparently, some sort of problem in this country right now with people getting divorced. Personally? Meh. Non-problem. But people are concerned about it.
You know what I think? Of course not, or you wouldn't be reading this. Maybe - just maybe - if we stopped telling people that they have the most amazing, mind-bending, pure heaven-sent love that will outshine the eventual earth-consuming supernova, they wouldn't be disappointed when it turns out that making a relationship work is a pain in the ass sometimes.
I for one would like to go to a wedding where people talk about the couple in reasonable terms. You know what? I have friends whose spouses I didn't care for when I first met them. Hell, I have friends whose spouses I could still take or leave. That's fine - I'm not married to them. But why can't we drop the happy horseshit that sounds like the trailer for the next kids cartoon about princesses or some shit, and talk about our relationships in a realistic and practical goddamn way? Would that be so terrible that grandma would cut us out of the will?
Wuv... Twue wuv
I heard this morning that R Kelly is divorcing his wife based on having recently watched the movie "the notebook". Apparently he compared his relationship to the fictional one and decided he wanted what the fictional people had. Thought it interesting.
ReplyDeleteI tried to keep our wedding as sappy free as possible and more of a party. Hence the quick ceremony and quick run for the bar. It's an interesting subject that's for certain.
i loved this. and i hated this. mostly because you're entirely right. i know for myself, the world around me has definitely created this idea in my head of what a relationship should be like - chalk-full of rainbows and unicorns and shit like that. and i get super diappointed when it's not like that. like, super. almost to the point where i can't function. and i don't know how to fix that - but i do try to acknowledge that relationships aren't easy and there will never be smiley faces raining out of my ass like diarrhea.
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